No Spiritual Connectivity

NO SPIRITUAL CONNECTIVITY

It is difficult to know whether or not the lady had had a word from God that I had no spiritual connectivity and shouldn't be part of a group.   As I said yesterday I don’t know what is meant by spiritual connectivity or why I don’t have it.   Is it a recent thing linked to the incident with the Food bank.   Or something that has always been an issue ? 

 A year or so after the incident I went back to the Methodist hall and spoke to the minister.  I told him that on reflection it was a wrong thing to do and sincerely regretted my action following the confrontation.   As a gesture of that sincerity I also made a substantial donation to the Food bank.    If there is any connectivity it hasn't yet been restored and begs the question of forgiveness and being restored.    Paul says in his second letter to the Corinthians about a man who had grieved him  “If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely.  The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.” (2 Cor 2 v5-11)    Or Galatians 6 v1-3 “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently”   If I have allowed the acrimonious disagreement and action by the minister to lead to action I later regretted which may be counted as sin,  no one who lived by the Spirit would come alongside me to act like Barnabas and reconcile me to the church as he did with Paul (Acts 9 v27).   I did ask for help from leaders of New Life where I was a member at the time.    I also endeavored to talk to Rob and Wendy Clift,  whom I have been friends with since my early days in Plymouth.   All felt they could not get involved.   There then became a possibility of reconciliation through a  minister from the Methodist regional office,  who role was to resolve disputes between ministers and the congregation.    He though became seriously ill shortly after he was approached and there was no one to replace him.    So I was on my own.    As an aside,  as well as the numerous scriptures on forgiveness Jesus told the parable of the Prodigal son (Luke 15 v11-32).   We focus on the relationship between the father and the son but how many people in the church without realising it behave like the elder son,   v25 "Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound. ' 28 "The older brother became angry and refused to go in.”    How often have we acted like the older son and at the very least insisted that the prodigal live in the servants quarters.   Proof himself worth of being restored say for 6 or 12 months before he can have back the ring and cloak of authority which the father so readily placed on him.

I believe as I have repeatedly said over the years the purpose of church is

a)       Worship.      Most if not all churches are public venues and anyone can go to a church service to worship God.    It was this that made it such a shock to be told Julie and I cannot go back into the church we had been going to for the past 6 months or more.

b)      Friendship.   That raises the interesting question of what we mean by friendship.   The church would though like to use the word fellowship.   That is more "spiritual" and less demanding than friendship

c)      Service.    Likewise to be told my service is not wanted even though having now retired I have all the time in the world as well has having 50 years or more in a caring environment

Since returning to Plymouth,   I have tried seeking out a church where I could find the three but to no avail.    I have tried on at least 2 occasions to become a member a of church in Plymouth but each occasion I wondered whether God was wanting me to part of that fellowship as I found no warmth or welcome.     On each occasion when I tried to talk this through with the leaders I was told I have to regularly attend their church for a good 6 to 12 months to show I am of good character and committed to their fellowship.    To befriend people in the church and in due course they may befriend me.    As for service,  this in the main seems to have been contracted out to para-church organisations such as the Food bank,  Street Pastors etc

As well as the Food Bank therefore I’ve asked if I could help with:-

Crossline.     Julie and I originally were Crossline listeners with Gordon Wright and for quite a while Julie was their secretary.   Although I did the Crossline listeners course again on return to Plymouth and am also been a qualified counsellor for over 20 years,  I was told they cannot use me as I still have issues which despite “counselling” has not been resolved.

SALT  (Sexual Abuse Listening Therapy)     Like Crossline,   I helped set up SAIF (Sexual Abuse in Families) and did the SAIFLINE training course.     On return to Plymouth did the SALT training course again only told there is little or no requirements for a male counsellor as clients are all women.

Plymouth Options. (Debt advise service)   Although a Financial accountant dealing professionally with company debt,  budgets and all matters of business finance,  I did the initial online Debt Advice course and was a volunteer debt adviser but although they were short  of committee members and were needing trustees,   I wasn’t acceptable.

DATA (Debt Advice Tavistock Area)    Applied to become debt advise volunteer when it was first set up.     (I live close to Tavistock and was at the time going to St Andrew’s church in Whitchurch).      Although I felt the interview went well was turned down as I hadn’t been a member of a church in the Tavistock area for the previous 12 months.

Street Pastors (Plymouth)  was not selected for training after an initial interview.

Tavistock Food Bank      I was asked to represent Kings church on the steering committee setting up the Tavistock Food bank.   After a while I got the feeling I was being frozen out especially when it came to transforming the steering committee in to the Management committee and it then obvious there was no room for me in the organisation

All these people cannot be wrong and must indicate therefore there is something seriously wrong with me.    None though could or would tell me what it is or how I can obtain it.    Having said all that the common denominator in all this is a close knit Christian community where it is easy to see how my reputation will have gone before me.    Or if I had initially been accepted like when I was on the steering committee for the Tavistock Food bank,  my reputation caught up with me.     Again if this is true whatever has happened to the gospel of the second chance or the forgiveness that could be found in the church of my youth.

On the other hand the lack of spiritual connectivity may have nothing to do with any of this but either something I never have had or was lost  sometime in the past.     Something I have never been aware of or no longer can recall.    In the model of Johras Window,  something buried deep in box 4, the hidden window.    Something that only God can restore in His good time.

Maybe I had no spiritual connectivity from birth and why my birth father pressed my mother to abort me then when she would not left her before I was born.    Could that be why my legal father never connected with me and the marriage didn't last.   Then again when I first encountered God was the connectivity made then as part of being “born again” and we become spiritually live.    May it though have been lost when I chased after the Holy Spirit and became baptised in the Spirit,   thus becoming neither fish or fowl.    Neither a good Salvationist or good Pentecostalist.     The running away to sea  rather than going into the Salvation Army Training college.    Or in the early 80s when the Lord called me to be a watchman over the house of Israel.   Something I will explore in a later blog.     Each of them significant changing points in my life  when something major in the heavenlies may have taken place.   If the person is right,   whether by my own sinfulness since coming to Plymouth or in the depth of my past until God reveals it either by divine revelation or through His people I have to live with it.     Until then,  I can only echo Paul  in that His grace is sufficient." (2 Cor 12 v7.)

On the other hand maybe I have no spiritual connectivity with the church of to-day because I have not moved on or changed with the times.   The God whom the church follows today is not the God of my youth and so the church of to-day is not the same as the church of my youth.